A day outside!

March 23, 2009 Desirae, Nathan, Gaige and Andrew.

Here is a picture of My kids and my nephew Nathan playing outside. It was a real nice day in Arizona so I tried to have them soak it up. It was really windy that day. The weather was perfect. I was very surprised that they were all sitting together like that. I thought it was so cute.

My daughter is still in a cast until next week, hopefully. She has been a real trooper. I am so proud of her. She hasnt let having a cast stop her doing anything.

Life Now

Life is crazy. I was reading the stupid celebrity pages and Jennifer Aniston said something like if breaking up with someone doesnt hurt what was the purpose of the relationship. It was something like that but you know its true. If it doesnt hurt whats the point.

Marvin was/is the love of my life. In the last four years we shared so many things. Happiness, sadness. We have been in car accidents together. He was sitting right next to me when I had to have an emergency C section for the birth of our twins. I remember his face when I told him that I was pregnant with twins. He was so excited but he didnt believe me at the same time. Relationships are hard. Any relationship is hard. I cant tell you how many times me and my best friends have stopped talking but we always found our way back to each other. Now I have the two best friends anybody can have.

The last 3-4 months have been real rocky for me and they were both there for me.

Marvin admitted to me today and like a week ago that he loves me and misses me but he dont know if he can get past the things I have done the last couple of months. He doesnt see the things he has done. He doesnt see him living with another female already doing something wrong. I dont know. I love him with all of my heart and I want to find happiness with him. I dont see my future with any other man.

If we decide to get back together we have a lot to work through, but it will be worth it. This will make us and our love for each other stronger that we got passed this together.

My friend Sharray is helping me find God and ever since we had this discussion its helped in a way. It still really hurts, I miss Marvin soooooo much but its helped me be more rational. Marvin always said that I always acted before knowing all the truth and he is right.

I know I will find happiness I just hope he can grow up and we can move past this hurdle and live happily ever after with each other.

My New Tattoo

Got a new tattoo its my daughters name and her zodiac sign, shs's a scorpio.

Fractured Elbow

My four year old fractured her elbow last night. Crazy girl. She tripped over a ball, flipped through the air and landed on her arm. She has to be in a cast for 6 weeks, this should be fun. She was in good spirits after a while though. She asked me how am i going to wear my jacket i only have one arm? That little girl cracks me up. She has such a big personality for such a small girl. She is my angel.

A great joke

It's Hell Getting Old
Old people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this. “First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing."
"Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing."
"We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

Moving on!!

I was looking through other blogs and I found a poem that related to how I feel now. Please visit http://shimo-thoughtsviews.blogspot.com/ and read the poem called The Day We Drifted Apart & After" its a really beautiful poem.

I will always love Marvin he is the father of my twin boys and he has been there for my daughter since day one, but no longer am I in love with him and want the future to share with him. The person that he has developed to be and the person he made me be I don't want to be apart of that.

I have been so happy and content with myself. More then I have been in a long time.

(This was the last picture taken together. 12/13/08. we broke up on 12/18/08.)

TALK ABOUT CRAZY EXS!

Last week he harassed me about my new friend Josh. He is telling me all these crazy stories about him being crazy and that he only hits women and that he is a danger to my kids. marvin told me that Josh is the reason that his ex had a miscarriage. These are very serious accusations. In which if any these things were true that he should not be around his own baby, but yet she is always trying to make him take the baby even when she knows he has to work crazy shifts. The whole situation is bad. marvin wants control on what I still do. I understand if he wants to protect the kids and myself because I am his kids mom but when he asks who I am sleeping with then that's none of his business. He didn't seem to think it was my business what he was doing with the 17 year old while we were still engaged. LOL. He is a freaking trip.

I am going to talk to a lawyer about custody and stuff. I had to call the cops on him last week because he came over trying to take my boys from me, because of the whole Josh situation. I am not going to let him emotionally hurt my children. He had no reason to try to take my kids. He has lost his marbles. He has cheated on me, moved out of my house after a 4 yr relationship and moved in with another female already but he has the nerve to talk to me about what I am doing. I am trying to be happy.

I am actually enjoying being single for now!!

I am going to be happy no matter what!!!