Desirae

I am so proud of my little girl. She wrote her name all her self and it came out really good and she is only 4!!! She is so smart.

Still Hurts

It’s been almost 7 months and it still hurts. I feel so pathetic. Mostly I feel like I am failing my children. I am 25 years old and I really don’t have my shit together. I don’t have my own home for my children, that makes me feel like crap. I feel like all the plans I make fall apart. I was trying with everything in me to make a life work with Marvin and it didn’t. I get stuck in a fairy tale way of thinking on that all of this is a dream and people are not really like this. Marvin in the past 7 months has shown me a whole different person then the person I have known for the last 4 years. Then I think maybe I put myself in a fairy tale then where I didn’t really see what was going on in front of me.

I have given myself goals that I need to do for myself and for my children. I need to do everything in my power to go back to school. After going to school, it will be able to help me provide for my kids the way I need to. I want to be a good role model for them. I want them to have every opportunity possible. Hopefully soon I can see the world for what it really is. See that people are not really what they seem. I have some figuring out on who I am and the kind of person that I want to be.

You’ve heard the saying let someone go and if they come back they are yours. If Marvin and I are meant to be then we will and if not then we won’t. I hope when he maybe grows up a little more that maybe we can have another chance for our love and to raise our kids together. Love conquers all right?