5 months

Today it has been five months since me and Marvin broke up. It’s still really hard. I miss him so much. It’s really hard to come to realization that I am really not going to spend the rest of my life with him when that’s all I had wanted and tried to work for, for the last four years. But it’s slowly coming to that this might be for the best, we are two totally different people and want totally different things. I don’t think Marvin really knows what he wants at this point. He still has the party in him I guess. I know that he loves the kids but I guess he wasn’t really ready to be a full time dad, but I don’t know. I am kind of lost as well but I do know that I want to be successful for my children and I will be starting school in the next month or two. I want to be the best I can be for my kids and give them every opportunity possible.

A big part of me still hopes that when Marvin is done with this phase or grows up a little more that I will be what he wants. I still want to be the person that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I just hope deep in our hearts that we can forgive each other for the pain that we have caused each other. I still love him with all of my heart.

I wish us both happiness.