A day outside!

March 23, 2009 Desirae, Nathan, Gaige and Andrew.

Here is a picture of My kids and my nephew Nathan playing outside. It was a real nice day in Arizona so I tried to have them soak it up. It was really windy that day. The weather was perfect. I was very surprised that they were all sitting together like that. I thought it was so cute.

My daughter is still in a cast until next week, hopefully. She has been a real trooper. I am so proud of her. She hasnt let having a cast stop her doing anything.

Life Now

Life is crazy. I was reading the stupid celebrity pages and Jennifer Aniston said something like if breaking up with someone doesnt hurt what was the purpose of the relationship. It was something like that but you know its true. If it doesnt hurt whats the point.

Marvin was/is the love of my life. In the last four years we shared so many things. Happiness, sadness. We have been in car accidents together. He was sitting right next to me when I had to have an emergency C section for the birth of our twins. I remember his face when I told him that I was pregnant with twins. He was so excited but he didnt believe me at the same time. Relationships are hard. Any relationship is hard. I cant tell you how many times me and my best friends have stopped talking but we always found our way back to each other. Now I have the two best friends anybody can have.

The last 3-4 months have been real rocky for me and they were both there for me.

Marvin admitted to me today and like a week ago that he loves me and misses me but he dont know if he can get past the things I have done the last couple of months. He doesnt see the things he has done. He doesnt see him living with another female already doing something wrong. I dont know. I love him with all of my heart and I want to find happiness with him. I dont see my future with any other man.

If we decide to get back together we have a lot to work through, but it will be worth it. This will make us and our love for each other stronger that we got passed this together.

My friend Sharray is helping me find God and ever since we had this discussion its helped in a way. It still really hurts, I miss Marvin soooooo much but its helped me be more rational. Marvin always said that I always acted before knowing all the truth and he is right.

I know I will find happiness I just hope he can grow up and we can move past this hurdle and live happily ever after with each other.